Where science meets soul in the art of loving

About Me

I'll start with my professional biography — my experience, qualifications and the work I do.

And if you'd like to know a little more about the person behind the professional, and the curiosity and philosophy that inform my work, read on to A Lifelong Enquiry.

Professional Biography

Jacqueline Hellyer is a Sydney-based Relational Sexologist, psychosexual and relationship therapist, coach, educator, speaker and author.

With more than 25 years of experience and over 10,000 hours of clinical practice, Jacqueline brings an unusually broad and integrative perspective to sexuality, intimacy and relationships.

She holds a Master of Sexual Health from the University of Sydney, a Master of Science in Consciousness, Spirituality and Transpersonal Psychology, and qualifications in biochemistry, human sciences, applied science, languages and literature.

She is an accredited psychosexual therapist, an ICF Professional Certified Coach and a PACT-trained couples therapist.

Jacqueline is the founder of The LoveLife Clinic and creator of Relational Sexology, an integrative approach that brings together scientific understanding, relational psychology, embodiment and transpersonal perspectives to cultivate richer, more conscious and fulfilling intimate lives.

Her work encompasses individual and couples therapy, transformational couples retreats, online courses, writing and public education.

She is currently working on her fourth book and publishes The Erotic Provocateur on Substack, where she challenges conventional assumptions about sex, love and relationships.

Her guiding philosophy is Where Science Meets Soul in the Art of Loving.

jacqueline hellyer relationship therapist
And now for a more personal story...

A Lifelong Enquiry

I came out of the womb curious. I was a strange child who asked strange questions and read strange books. I was fascinated by the paranormal, spirituality, philosophy and the mysteries of existence. I was always observing the world, marvelling at its beauty and magnificence, while wondering why human beings could be so awful to it and to each other.

That sense of wonder has never left me. I experience the magnificence of existence even when life is hard. It's there in the ordinary moments of everyday life, in nature, in connection, in pleasure, in the simple experience of being here, now.

I've spent my life exploring what it means to be human, through science, psychology, philosophy, spirituality, consciousness and, of course, sexuality.

I describe myself as a scientific mystic because I've never seen science and spirituality as opposites. For me, they're complementary ways of exploring the extraordinary mystery of existence.

I started yoga as a little girl, began meditating at sixteen, and spent many years immersed in Aikido, the Japanese martial art founded on principles of harmony. Its philosophy, closely aligned with Taoism and the interplay of yin and yang, continues to inform how I live and work.

My professional life has taken a somewhat winding path, through biochemistry, human sciences, environmental science, life coaching and eventually sexology and psychology. But the underlying motivation has always been the same: a fascination with human potential and a desire to help people experience more of the richness and possibilities of being alive.

Sexuality has proved to be an extraordinary doorway into that exploration.

My own experiences of Tantra and other erotic practices opened me to possibilities far beyond conventional understandings of sex. And from early in my clinical work, I began questioning whether many of the difficulties people experienced arose not because something was wrong with them, but because the model of sexuality they were trying to follow was itself so limited. Rather than opening people to greater pleasure, connection and aliveness, it could leave them feeling inadequate, frustrated and stuck.

This enquiry, together with my studies in couples therapy and transpersonal psychology, eventually led me to develop Relational Sexology.

At its heart is the understanding that we are relational beings, living within a complex web of relationships. Our lives unfold through our relationships with ourselves, with others and with the world around us. Sexuality is one of the many ways we express and experience that relating.

My own life has been rich with different relationships, experiences and explorations, including the extraordinary experience of motherhood. All have contributed to my understanding of what it means to be human, and of our remarkable capacity to grow, change, connect and flourish.

And really, that's what my lifelong enquiry has ultimately been about. I believe that when we become more present, more embodied and less defended against life, we open ourselves to its extraordinary possibilities — to pleasure, connection, goodness, love and wonder.

It's not about becoming a better person. It's about becoming more fully alive.

TESTIMONIALS

Sometimes the love comes back as praise... Here I humbly present some of what people have said about me.

Note: Given the nature of my work and to protect people’s privacy, I’m not giving names - please trust me that these are all authentic!
I really got what it means to come into my masculine sexual energy, with strength and confidence and no macho or aggression. Feels great! (And my wife is beaming!)
We LOVED the retreat. You created a safe, adult, sexy space where we could be honest and open, exploring ourselves and the connection that exists in really different ways than we've ever been able to in the past. Your rich and sensitive holding of the spiritual side, and ease of its emergence as sexual energy - an energy to draw the other in and connect with - was really a gift and a beautiful model to offer.
We have noticed a real shift in our energies towards each other almost like switching from AM to FM radio, the difference is that noticeable.
You've changed the whole way I look at sex, now I feel so much more positive and free and empowered!
Working on the solution instead of the problem has taken me further forward then anything else I have tried.
"The opening up to my own sexuality and what it means for us as a couple has been way beyond my expectations. I’ve felt safe and loved the sense of playfulness and the choices we’ve had whether or how to participate. I go away hugely enriched.”
"What do I say to you for taking me on a magical adventure of discovery yet again? My most heartfelt thanks for an incredible Saturday night at The Tantric Lounge.”
It was all about rediscovering and embracing being a woman, and everything that surrounds that.
I never thought I’d lose my libido - but I did! Who’d have thought one little baby could be so exhausting! Your book made so much sense - it explained why I was feeling this way, why my partner was feeling this way, and what we could do about it.
"Thank you for the wonderful Tantric Lounge session, we really enjoyed it. You are a very good facilitator, and an absolute expert in this area of life and love."
This course has, after 29yrs of adolescent masturbatory style sex, been HUGE with some major penny-drops. I love your approach!
So good to get practical information that's solid, real and not at all sleazy
Now we understand why you wanted us to attend one of your retreats. We learnt so much from you in private sessions, but doing your couples retreat has really taken us so much further and deeper. It’s been absolutely wonderful, far more transformative than we could ever have imagined.
Before meeting Jacqueline we were “fumbling around in the dark”, I couldn’t go the distance and this left my beloved underwhelmed. We were caught in the daily grind, were sexually frustrated and wanting a more satisfying experience. Since Jacqueline’s sex coaching our lovemaking has become light-hearted, our lives filled with romance, dating, petting, smooches. When we make love the time is intimate, fun, erotic, orgasmic and/or all of the above. We’ve never been happier, whole or as complete – and can’t thank you enough.
"Thank-you for creating a safe space for us all to learn, grow and share. Absolutely essential for all women who want to thrive, not just survive.”
This book is beautifully clear and succinct, a real treasure.
I really enjoyed this book. It contains some great concepts that I’ve really been able to put into practice.
Thank-you for for so skillfully weaving my sexuality and spirituality back together. I now feel the way I’ve always wanted to feel.
“It is beautiful how each activity builds on the previous one like blocks, so that by the end of the evening we are engaging in the most divine magical experiences that we could never have got to otherwise!”
Your program also seriously helped me understand my own male sexuality so much better. A big thank you for helping me with what I needed to hear! It is so awesome what you do, it is life changing for us on this end, and you are such a natural!
Learn with Jacqueline

Continue Your Lovelife Journey

Whatever brought you to this article, deeper insight is only the beginning. Explore Jacqueline’s online courses and choose the pathway that speaks to where you are now.

View Courses
public speaking

Experience

Public Speaking

the lovelife clinic

Visit

The Lovelife Clinic

couples intimacy masterclass

Learn

Couples Intimacy Masterclass

lovelife blog & podcast

Read

Lovelife Blog & Podcast

couples retreats

Experience

Couples Retreats

"I wish we’d had this book when our first bub was born. But better late than never, it’s been a great help second time around!"

"Before meeting Jacqueline we were fumbling around in the dark, I couldn’t go the distance and this left my beloved underwhelmed. We were caught in the daily grind, were sexually frustrated and wanting a more satisfying experience. Since Jacqueline’s sex coaching our lovemaking has become light-hearted, our lives filled with romance, dating, petting, smooches. When we make love the time is intimate, fun, erotic, orgasmic and/or all of the above. We’ve never been happier, whole or as complete – and can’t thank you enough."

"Thank-you for so deliciously weaving my sexually and spiritually together again, I now feel the way I’ve always wanted and known I could feel."

"A massive thank you for all your guidance and wisdom. Your sex therapy played a very significant role in changing our lives forever."

"I never thought I’d lose my libido - but I did! Who’d have thought one little baby could be so exhausting! Your book made so much sense - it explained why I was feeling this way, why my partner was feeling this way, and what we could do about it."

"My sessions with Jacqueline were like a great conversation with a very wise sister/friend. She helped me through the end of my 25 year marriage with compassion and insight, giving me perspective, coping skills and a gentle push where required. I’m so grateful to have had her wise counsel."

"This book has changed our lives. It’s all good practical common-sense - and it works!"

"I felt so useless and alone after I had my baby, and forcing myself to have sex with my husband made it worse. This book has helped me see in little ways how I can enjoy being a mother and a wife - which means I can enjoy being me! Thank-you."

"We used to fight constantly about sex, I never thought we'd find a way out. Then we found you and that's all changed. You're awesome!"

"We weren’t in a very good place. Reading Jacqueline’s book together made the world of difference and we’re stronger for it"

"I feel an enormous sense of relief that we have a platform to communicate about intimacy and sex in an open respectful and adult way."

"You've changed the whole way I look at sex, now I feel so much more positive and free and empowered!"

"We really love coming to see you, as you offer us such support and have made a huge difference to our lives."

"Sex was just off the agenda and we’d lost connection. We couldn’t recommend this book more. It really will help"

"Working on the solution instead of the problem has taken me further forward then anything else I have tried."

"Seeing Jacqueline has been by far one of the best decisions we have made. Before seeking her help I was very sad about our situation. I am so happy to say that as a direct result of her thoughtful guidance we are in such a different and better place in our sex life."

"You have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. "

"You’re the first of many counsellors who really feels comfortable and is coming from a practical, understandable place. You've helped us find the key and it's really quite simple."

"Thanks again for your brilliant life-changing support. "

"It’s made us realise how important it is to always be there for each other, to prioritise us, even though it’s so easy to be distracted."

"It’s been so good to find a book that tells us how to look after ourselves - not only how to look after the baby."

"We have noticed a real shift in our energies towards each other since seeing you, almost like switching from AM to FM radio, the difference is that noticeable."

"I've seen so many therapists but you're amazing! I come out of each session so much more self-aware and enlightened."

"I'm so happy with ME, where I am and where we are as a couple. This is where I've been trying to get for so long and now I'm here! Thanks - you're the best!"