There’s the everyday, and there’s the erotic. And there’s a shift between the two.
There’s a physical shift where your body stirs. It’s not just genital arousal, it’s a shift in your physical state, a rich warm spread of feeling throughout your whole body. And there’s a shift in consciousness, from the everyday waking state to something altered, with less active cognitive thinking, to a more right-brain, bliss-like awareness.
To have good sex, you need the erotic shift, physically and consciously.
Sure, you can engage in sex without it, you might even have genital orgasms, but you won’t have that rich altered state of consciousness. Which is fine for a quickie, but for a fully satisfying experience right to the depths of your soul, you need to access the erotic shift.
What leads to that shift? What are your gateways?
For some it might it might be sensual engagement through touch and sound, for others it might be a sense of deep love and devotion.
Some might get there through a sense of the transgressive, going to the edge, in their minds or in their actions, for others it could be through the simplicity of an eye gaze.
Some might find their way through erotic storytelling, others with erotic images.
Some might be led there through role-play and pretend, others through admiring the beauty of the naked body.
For some the right atmosphere alone can be the gateway, for others a flirtatious lead-up of hours or days.
Whatever your gateway, is unique to you, and will change with time, age, mood and energy. There’s no right or wrong, just what is authentic for you, at that time, and what you co-create between you.
When the shift occurs, you can engage with your entire being. And this way sex becomes whole - truly bodyful, mindful and soulful.