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#308: How To Give (and Receive) An Erotic Spanking

- Saturday, December 05, 2020


A spanking can be deliciously erotic.

When it’s done well.

And that means sensually…

And of course with consent.

So, how do you give a good spanking?

You can add the odd spank to your regular sex play, or you can set up a whole spanking scene. Like this:

The lead-up is important, the spankee has to be in the right space to want the spanking. Their bum needs to be swinging or jiggling in anticipation.

Ask the spankee to assume a position where their bottom is sticking out: that could be leaning against a wall, over the arm of a chair, on all fours on the bed, even over your lap if that is mutually arousing.

Depending on your shared eroticism, the spanking could be part of a role play or it could be a delicious part of your mutual pleasure.

Warm the spankee’s bottom up first with rubs and very light spanks. This gets the blood to the surface and reduces the painful element.

You can rub over the rest of their body too for a whole body experience, or just focus on the bottom.

When you feel the spankee is ready, start with one medium level spank. Watch their reaction. Go back to the rubbing and fondling. Pause. Give another medium level spank. Watch their reaction. Go back to the rubbing and fondling.

Focus on the fleshy part of their bottom, avoiding the boney parts, so you’ll have a slightly upward direction, with slightly cupped hand.

Over time you’ll get to know how your spankee likes the spanking, but if you’re new, you need to pay particular attention to their response as the timing and strength of the spanks are key.

You can ask the spankee to rate each spank out of 10, partly so you have an idea of how they are taking it, and also because it can add to the eroticism of the encounter.

You can do a bunch of spanks in a row, or intersperse them with rubs and fondles. It’s really up to you as the spanker to create a delectable experience for your spankee.

And how do you receive a good spanking?

A good spanking can really take you to the pleasure zone.

But just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to experience a good spanking. The spanker will be focusing on your reactions and  creating the experience based on those reactions. So, let the spanker know what you’re feeling. There’s a two-way feedback system going on.

As with all pleasurable experiences, the more relaxed you are, the better it feels. The trick is to stay relaxed while in a state of heightened arousal. You have the anticipation, the spank and the sensation of heat and pleasure that follows. Focus on each element and relax into both the anticipation and the after flow. Even at the point of the spank you don’t want to tense your muscles or it won’t feel as good.

You only want to be spanked by someone you trust, so you really can relax into it. If the spanker does go too fast or too hard, ask them to slow it down or go more gently. You’re the one in control here. Have a safe word if you like, or use the ‘traffic light’ system where yellow means slow down and red means stop.

When you’ve had enough, let the spanker know, then have a good cuddle!

That could be the end of your ‘scene’ or it could be part of an ongoing series of sensual delights…




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