The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#338: Get Off the Hedonistic Treadmill!

Published Monday, February 28, 2022


So many people consume sex like other goods. Like good little capitalists they crave and crave, wanting more and more: bigger, harder, faster, more diversity, more people, more orgasms, more toys, more excitement, more, more, more…

Popular culture encourages this with porn’s approach to creating craving for more and more.

Even in alternative, spiritual sexuality there’s often still this craving – for the cosmic orgasm, the kundalini rush, the bliss beyond.

Give us the tip, what’s the technique, show us the method… All wanting the bigger and better, the more.

It’s exhausting!

And it doesn’t lead anywhere. Other than an endless desperate yearning for some level of satisfaction that can never be reached.

It’s a hedonistic treadmill. As one male client who’d been on the treadmill for years, thinking he was cool and sexually open, said: “where was it all going to end – with a cock in each orifice and a zucchini up my nose?!” What an absurd situation!

As that client came to realise, sexual satisfaction doesn’t come from constantly chasing sensation on the outside. It comes from savouring sensation from within, exploring the subtle, the slow, the simple. And while that can of course include any activity or prop that takes your fancy, those elements are there to enhance an experience, not to chase a result.

Slow the fuck down! Literally.

Get off the hedonistic treadmill. Savour what you are experiencing in the moment.

And paradoxically, that will lead to better  sexual response, orgasm, kundalini flow and bliss…

Listen to the audio version - the LoveLife Podcast!


Recent Posts

Earlier Posts



to LOVELIFE News for regular inspiration on sex, love and intimacy!

For more great sex advice -
read my books!