Download Audio: Your New Years Resolution - Have Better Sex!
Happy new year! I hope you’re having a great festive season and are taking time to look over your life and acknowledge where life is going well and where it could do with improving.
Hopefully you’ve gone so far as to make some new years resolutions. These are probably to do with health issues such as getting fit or drinking less, or to do with finance issues such as saving money or getting a raise. If so, they're all very worthy resolutions and good on you for making them.
Here’s another one for you:
“I resolve to have better sex this year.”
Say it out loud. Go on, this is a practical exercise.
How did it feel? If it felt good and powerful and real, excellent, skip over to the check-list below. If it felt awkward or a bit silly or even embarrassing, then let’s take a moment to consider why you would feel that way.
Sex is a fundamental part of being human, and a good sex life has enormous benefits in terms of improved health and well-being, greater self-esteem, better relationships (and because of that a happier, healthier and saner society) – so why would it seem odd to resolve to improve your sex life? It’s simply a reflection of our sex-negative society. Because sex hasn’t been acknowledged as the important thing it is, in the same way as for instance good nutrition and a healthy bank balance have been, we tend not to focus on it with the same level of intent as other parts of life.
No-one would think you odd if you declared your resolve this year was to get fit or get a promotion. Yet if you declared your resolve is to have better sex…
So, ok, you don’t have to publicly declare this intention. It’s sad that this is the case, but never mind. If you have a partner, I strongly encourage you to make this declaration together, but you can do it alone if need be. Find a place where no-one can hear you, then state out loud:
“I/We resolve to have better sex this year.”
Excellent! That is a brilliant start to the year!
I can always tell which of my clients are going to make good progress, it's all to do with their attitude. The ones that come to me stating that they are taking the therapy and coaching on as a ‘project’ are the ones that do well. They know that they have to have a positive intention, take concrete action, and realise they are on a journey.
So, to get you started, here are some important points that are relevant to everyone in improving their sex life:
Take some time to think about what you personally can do to improve your sex life. Based on the list above this could include some shopping, redecorating, time allocating and activities for yourself – quite pleasurable on the whole!
If you have a partner, talk to him or her about this. Many couples do find it difficult to talk about their sex life, so start simply, perhaps with a discussion on redecorating the bedroom. Keep it light! Heavy discussions around sex are rarely conducive to improving the situation. Book in for a session with me if you're finding this challenging.
I also strongly encourage you to attend my retreats and workshops or do an online course to improve your sexual confidence and knowledge.
Together we can make this your year for better sex (leading on to better and better sex in the years to come…)
It all starts with your resolve.
Explore Jacqueline’s online courses and choose the pathway that speaks to where you are now.
For Couples
Reconnect, communicate more openly and rediscover intimacy as a source of joy, playfulness and erotic aliveness.
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For Men
Cultivate greater confidence, presence and pleasure while transforming the way you approach sex, intimacy and connection.
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For Women
Reconnect with your sensuality, confidence and pleasure, and embrace the fullness of who you are as a sexual being.
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Jacqueline's regular column on Substack
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